Making a Difference, Day 19

I’m feeling very quiet and introspective today. My last post took a lot out of me, emotionally, and I am a little small and drained.

But I feel like it might make a difference for April (not her real name, of course), or maybe for another mother. So I’m counting that as Day 18, and I count each tear I shed writing it and then re-reading it as worthy and cleansing.

Also? I got to do something very special to make a difference for Day 19, which happened last night.

I attended K’s Christmas concert for her music class, along with her Mom, Dad, and a veritable posse of their extended family. They were all welcoming and friendly and I was so happy to be there. I sat in the middle of the row, right up front, and I clapped my little heart out for my our girl. I took about a million pictures. I took video.

I got to kiss her and hug her. I got to meet some more of her friends; oh, she was so proud to introduce me! I got to hear her say, again (I never get tired of this) “Don’t we look alike?” She’s so tall now, and please excuse me, but may I brag? She is beautiful, inside and outside.

I could tell that she was so, so happy to have me there. She wasn’t embarrassed, she didn’t feel awkward, and when one of her friends seemed to, she grabbed me and hugged me and I just smiled at her friend and stuck out my hand. Seeing her love and eagerness to have people know who I am, I can never do less when people I know meet her for the first time.

I got to make a difference for my daughter. I have done many things this season that make me feel happy and that I enjoyed, but this, oh, this…this one filled up my heart with love and joy.